Tourist Eyes

I roam around this home we built with tourist eyes

A ghost haunting a graveyard of memories

My fingers trace the paintings, sculptures and other decor

So many hours agonising so they looked perfect for sure

I turn a corner and find the white curtains fly in the wind

I see you wrap your arms around me and make me smile

And there you are again on the bed working late,

A laptop casting a spot light on your work face

The same bed where I caught her with you, the other woman

Dripping in saccharine youth and the glow of your love, once mine

I grab some trinkets from the bathroom drawer, irrelevant yet an excuse

To visit here one last time, to soak in what once was

I see my reflection in the mirror above the sink

A pale gaunt woman I don’t know, with grey in her hair

Now the reflection changes, to us squealing at the plus sign on the stick

I turn away and walk down the stairs where my water broke

And where our son fell, a spot of blood still clinging to the wall

I arrive at the foyer where we pretended all was as before

So our son could save face in front of the girl of his dreams

But she could see the forced laughter and terrified silences in between

I turn a corner to find you on your armchair now a twisted shape of you

There are so many things I want to say to you hunched over in guilt

To hurt you with weapons made of tears and words

To see you flinch under the storm of my anger still unspent

But when I look at you I see a younger you, bending down on a beach

Asking for my hand with exaggerated gallantry

Laughter and a promise, now broken, in your eyes

And all I can say is, I’ll leave the keys in their usual place,

I feel you staring at my back as I open the front door

The apology and the forgiveness hanging heavy in the air

Waiting to escape like me from the tomb of a life gone by

Walking into a future untold, I shut the door firmly to my past

And bid you a silent aching goodbye

Image Credit: Pixabay

One thought on “Tourist Eyes

  1. Awesome. A story of a life time told so brilliantly in a few words and what powerful words they are! Each line contains an emotion which tugs at the heart and melts it down to tearful drops.A very honest description of those inner most feelings which are always buried in the depths of a heart and never expressed. This is a masterpiece !


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